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Photo of healthy male erection - penis enlarged considerably from its flaccid state following arousal

Premature Ejaculation – A very common occurrence!

Premature ejaculation

Photo of healthy male erection - penis enlarged considerably from its flaccid state following arousal
Photo of healthy male erection – penis enlarged considerably from its flaccid state following arousal

Premature ejaculation is a very common experience.

It has been defined by Masters & Johnson – the US sex therapists, who pioneered sex therapy and research – to be when on at least 50% of occasions ejaculation happens before the partner is satisfied !

Others define it as being when the man ejaculates within 1 to 2 minutes of penetration.

Whatever the definition, if you are worried, or your partner is regularly dissatisfied, you should seek help.

In the 1950s, 75% of men surveyed by the US therapist, Kinsey, reported ejaculation within 2 minutes of penetration. Now more emphasis is placed on ‘staying power’ and on partner communication.

Mind over matter can work wonders – and many men can control their ejaculation for considerable lengths of time by concentrating on something completely unsexy – eg. mental arithmetic, DIY tasks, or car mechanics !

If thinking of something else during penetration to distract yourself, doesn’t work or induces anxiety, you and your partner could try the squeeze technique which can gradually recondition your mind into delaying ejaculation.

When, at the plateau stage of stimulation, you – or your partner – can squeeze the glans penis at the frenulum with two fingers, to make your erection subside.

However, this needs practice and other techniques are also taught by registered sex therapists.

Premature Ejaculator – I want to last longer…

I need advice on lasting longer in bed. I am only 24 years old but suffer from premature ejaculation. Sometimes I finish in 3 to 5 minutes.

Is this a disease? If so, can it be cured? Or, is it I get too hyper and lose control so easy and fast ?

Please help me to get my groove on. 

If you are lasting for 3 to 5 minutes after penetration – before ejaculation – there is little wrong with you. Vast numbers of men ejaculate within one minute of penetration so don’t chastise yourself for lasting longer. 

Premature ejaculation is not a disease, it’s a psychological condition.

You can learn to control your ejaculation until you want to release it. Your assumption is quite correct about getting hyper and losing control quickly. It is common in the early, exciting days of a new relationship to ejaculate quickly. Most men will know how that feels. Try to relax more and, with experience, you will certainly control this feeling and delay ejaculation.

There are various stop-start techniques you can learn to recondition yourself to last longer. Perhaps during masturbation, you can learn to recognise various pleasurable feelings and what triggers your change from the plateau stage of excitement, to the inevitability of ejaculation.

One tip, though, before trying to change things … just check with your partner on how s/he feels about this, and whether s/he actually wants you to last longer than you do already. Your lover may not be bothered – particularly if you are great at foreplay – and if the 3 to 5 minutes you last, are superb. 

Remember … it’s quality not quantity that counts, just the same as it is with penis size. 

Helen