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Itchy Anus After Anal Sex

After trying anal sex, my anus has been itching like crazy. At first, it was a bearable itch that occurred during mornings and nights, but has progressively worsened. I’ve been applying Vaseline® to my anus to help alleviate some of the itch, and recently I started feeling a couple of bumps or small lumps around my anus. I’m not sure if these are external haemorrhoids. Could you please kindly recommend a treatment? Thanks in advance. – R

Dear R

No, I won’t recommend a home treatment for an itchy anus after anal sex.

It wouldn’t be right, or necessarily safe for you to self-medicated without correct diagnosis first.

The only thing I will recommend is that you get this examined, pronto, by either your doctor or by someone at your local Sexual Health Clinic.

You may just have hemorrhoids (haemorrhoids), but you may have genital warts, which commonly itch and increase in number at varying speed.

Masking your symptoms with Vaseline® is also risky.

If you are continuing to have anal sex, and if you are being sensible enough to use a condom, that condom is more likely to break than if you used a water based lubricant. 

(HIV is 18 times more easily transmitted via unprotected anal sex than vaginal)

There are some other viral skin conditions that produce small bumps, too, so waste no more time and get a proper diagnosis.

Hopefully, this is easily treated and the annoying itch will disappear quite soon.

But – if it is something more serious, it is much better to know as soon as possible, so it can be treated properly and your health protected, going forwards.

Sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear/read, but your long-term health is more important than a short-term fix!

You only have one life – protect it.


New Boyfriend – Rimming and Anal Sex Request

New Boyfriend – Rimming and Anal Sex Request 

My new boyfriend loves to have oral sex with me, and puts his tongue in my rectum. Because I have always thought my behind is for waste only, I feel uncomfortable – but have not told him yet. One night he put his finger in; although it was uncomfortable at first, it felt okay afterwards. 

He is now asking me about having anal intercourse. I have refused, but I don’t want to lose him. He says I’ll enjoy it as all my nerve endings are behind there. But I’m not so sure. Should I let him ? Won’t it be painful ? 


It is important to be honest with your boyfriend about how you feel. There’s no point in exchanging body fluids with someone, but being too shy to talk to them when sharing intimate moments. 

You should not, however, do anything to please him and not yourself. Spell out all your worries and fears and, if he cannot accept your decision not to do it, then you know what sort of chap he really is. If he doesn’t respect your wishes, tries to pressurise or force you into doing it – or threatens to leave you if you don’t do it – let him go; he’s a bully and it’s not you he wants. He only wants to use your body. 

If you don’t give consent and he goes ahead, he will be committing two criminal offences – rape and buggery – as anal sex is illegal in many countries, one of which is Barbados.

Your feelings are completely understandable because the ‘gut’ is a grubby area and anilingus (anal licking) does carry realistic risks for both parties. For example, if he has oral Herpes, you could catch it anally; and if you had it, he could easily catch Hepatitis A this way.

Quite apart from the risk of catching Hepatitis A, there is a very common ‘gut bug’ – a bacteria called E-Coli, that he might get which could give him an upset tummy that would possibly make him feel as if he has food poisoning. The bottom line: bowel organisms are fine in the gut, but when they move to unexpected areas, they can spread and cause a few nasty problems.

Having said that though, the anus is one of our erogenous pleasure zones packed with sensitive nerve ends, as he said. Anal foreplay is quite different from anal penetration. Gentle anal foreplay can be made safer by him putting a well-lubricated condom or latex glove over his finger before insertion. He could use a latex or polyurethane barrier before licking your anal area to protect his mouth and your skin, yet still give you pleasure, sexually. The more the anus is stretched, the more chance there is of the skin tearing and causing discomfort. 

Anal sex may be pleasurable at the time, but afterwards there may be discomfort and possibly a bit of constipation caused by the fear of pain while opening your bowels. 

If you decide to consent to anal sex, it is important to take it VERY slowly. Use a lot of water-based or silicone (condom friendly) lubricant to assist entry, and at all times ensure he correctly wears a condom. Unless you are able to relax your anal sphincter sufficiently to allow gentle entry, it may be painful. 

It is also extremely important NOT to go from having anal sex to vaginal sex with the same condom. Either change condoms, or go from vaginal penetration to anal with the same condom if you consent to anal sex. Anal sex is widely practiced heterosexually as a form of contraception, BUT it is still possible for a woman to get pregnant from anal sex if this occurs at the fertile time of the month, if sperm gets into her fertile mucus. Once the sperm gets into that, they are on their way.