•Giving oral sex (a blow job/fellatio) to a man if his ejaculate enters your mouth.
•Giving oral sex to (going down on/cunnilingus) a woman during her period.
•Finger insertion (anal or vaginal) if there are cuts, sores, bleeding piles (haemorrhoids) or your partner has a period.
•Withdrawal (pulling out) before ejaculation, without wearing a condom.
Medium/high-risk activities include:
•Med/high: Giving unprotected oral sex to a man without taking his ejaculate into your mouth.
•Med/high: Giving unprotected oral sex to a woman without her period.
•Med: Vaginal or anal sex with a condom.
•Med: Finger insertion (anal or vaginal) is safer if broken skin, cuts, sores etc. are covered with waterproof plaster or latex gloves are worn.
•Med: Giving oral sex to a man who’s wearing a condom.
•Med: Performing oral sex during a period but using a barrier as protection between your mouth and her body fluids. You can use a dental dam or cut a flavoured condom lengthwise and open it out to form a barrier. Some people use cling film, even though some germs can penetrate (get through) the plastic of cling film.
•Med: Wet kissing (deep French kissing). Safety depends upon the health of your lips and mouth and those of your partner(s). Hepatitis can be passed this way, if there are bleeding gums from newly brushed teeth or gum irritation caused by cut lips, cold sores (herpes simplex), mouth ulcers or even from smoking cocaine – if it’s present in blood stained saliva.
•Med: Rimming – ie. licking your partner’s anus – with the protection of a barrier such as a dental dam.
LOW RISK ACTIVITIES & ALTERNATIVES
Low risk activities and alternatives to penetrative sex include:
•Masturbating on your own.
•Masturbating your partner (heavy petting) but, if any part of your hand enters their body you should make sure that cuts, rashes or sores are covered by waterproof plaster or latex gloves beforehand.
•The use of personal sex toys always making sure they are washed in hot soapy water before and after use each time.
•Body kissing of erogenous zones – ie. ears, neck, breasts, abdomen, buttocks, toes.
•Sensual body massage.
IMPORTANT: If you use massage oils or body moisturising oils, they must be fully washed off the penis before using latex/rubber condom because the rubber may rot and the condom is very likely to break.
•Love bites – without blood being drawn.
•Sexual arousal; fully clothed and remaining so !
•Body rubbing – ie. frottage.
•Corporal punishment – ie. whipping and caning (with consent) as long as blood is not drawn – although, in Law, this is assault.
•S & M (Sado-Masochism) – ie. sexual excitement derived from inflicting or thinking of inflicting pain on another person; or deriving sexual pleasure from experiencing pain or humiliation yourself – unless blood is drawn.
•General or erotic fantasy using your own imagination or that of another in magazines, films, erotic images, literature, etc.
•Dressing up – eg. stockings and suspenders, uniforms, etc.
•Stroking skin with different fabrics – eg. silk, chiffon, leather and lace, etc.
•Golden showers/water sports – ie. urinating over your partner – as long as there are no open sores or cuts.
•Telling each other your erotic fantasies and performing role play together.
•Slow strip tease to music, with dimmed lighting, etc.
•Talking dirty – ie. pillow talk – to each other.
•Food – ie. licking your favourite food off your partner – eg. cream, honey, chocolate, champagne.
•Anything else you can think of which doesn’t involve the exchange of body fluids and gives mutual (both of you) pleasure by consent (with permission).
•Even though it’s unrealistic, the safest kind of sex is celibacy – ie. no sex at all !
Site owner: Author of Sexplained Books – Nurse Specialist in Contraception and Sexual Health, UK
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